Healthy & Unhealthy Conflict...

Conflict in essence is an issue between two people and therefore should be the most natural thing in the world.  If the disagreement gets solved then there is no reason that the issue should do long term damage to a relationship. 

When we approach conflict we need to adopt the right mindset.  Believing that a win win is possible means your approach will be far more collaborative than combative.  This is where you begin to see the difference as to whether the conflict is going to be healthy for a relationship or unhealthy. See the list below:-

Healthy

• Go into the conflict believing that you will understand the person better through the process
• Trust the person better as they will be honest
• Focusing on solutions
• Looking to the future
• Seeing the discussion as a chance to learn

Unhealthy

• Approaching the conflict with the attitude that you are right
• Blaming the other person
• Criticising the person and not focusing on the problem
• Talking about the past
• Being subjective and not objective

Conflict cannot be ignored, as matters will fester.  Think about a rock in your shoe, the more you try to carry on walking the more you become aware of the rock.  If you ignore the rock for your whole walk by the end you may well have hurt your foot.  Doing nothing is no solution.

Please do get in touch for a workshop on conflict resolution bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk