Being Assertive

bev • June 30, 2025

"Say what you mean and mean what you say"

There is a fine balance between all the behaviours:-

  • Aggressive
  • Passive
  • Passive Aggressive
  • Assertive


Too exaggerated with your Assertiveness and you are Aggressive and to meek with your Assertiveness you are just Passive and not saying what you think or feel you become Passive Aggressive.


Assertive means standing up for your own personal rights and expressing your thoughts and feelings in an appropriate way and respecting the personal rights of others by empathetic listening.


It really matters as by expressing yourself effectively it can boost your self esteem and show that you value yourself and others.


There are five essential ingredients to being Assertive:-

  1. Listen (with empathy) understand the other person's perspective
  2. Show you understand
  3. Say what you think and feel
  4. State what you want in an appropriate way
  5. Consider the consequences for others not just yourself


To make it practical think of the 3 line strategy as a template for preparing for those tricky situations:-


  1. I understand
  2. I think
  3. I would like


Above all be sure to "Say what you mean and mean what you say"

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