The Right Words...

"Words have an amazing impact, and by understanding when, why, and how they work, we can use them to increase ours." - Jonah Berger

The power of don't over can't is enormous.  If there is something that you have been trying to resist replace the can't with don't.  There is much more willpower with don't and it is also sounds much more conclusive.  See the examples below:-

"I can't eat chocolate"                       "I don't eat chocolate"

"I can't smoke tonight"                      "I don't smoke"

When you are next nervous about a presentation or a meeting you  are chairing or anything putting you at stretch.  Give yourself some self talk but use "You" in your chat. Also put your name into your self talk, it is calming and empowering see the examples below:-

• "You got this"
• "You have all the knowledge"
• "Bev you have all the details"
• "Bev you are in control, you know what you are doing..."

Words can also be a great management tool.  If one of your team members is floundering and not knowing where to start.  Coach them by using the word "Could" -

• "What could you achieve in the next five minutes..."
• "What small action could you take..."

Nobody wants to be told what to do, so tell language should always be avoided.  In elections they often tell people to vote, however if they attach an identity to an action eg. Voter, it becomes more appealing.  If you ask a team member what actions do they associate with a top performer they will identify the actions that work with that identity. 

Please do get in touch for a workshop on confident communication or a one to one coaching session bev@nuggetsoflearning.co.uk