Fundamentals of Everyday Thinking - # 1. Being Proactive

We can get so caught up in our own thinking that the smallest concerns start to feel enormous.

Imagine that inside your head you have an inbox and an outbox.  Concerns arrive in your inbox. Your job is to decide whether you can influence them and, if you can, move them into your outbox by taking action.

The problem is that we often leave things sitting in our inbox. We think about them, worry about them, revisit them and allow them to grow. Before long, they are consuming far more space in our heads than they deserve.  This is particularly common when we are under pressure. Even the smallest decisions can start to feel huge.

A simple example:

A friend invites you out for a drink. You don't really want to go because you're exhausted after a busy week.

Instead of replying, you leave the invitation sitting in your inbox. Days pass. You feel increasingly uncomfortable about responding. Eventually, you either offend your friend by not replying or find yourself going along simply because you've left it too late to say no.

What if you had moved it into your outbox straight away?

"Thank you so much for the invite. I'd love to another time, but I'm absolutely exhausted this week with the end-of-year results. Let's arrange something soon."  Concern dealt with. Space reclaimed!

Stephen Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, describes this through his Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.  There are three areas to consider:

• Circle of Concern: Things that occupy our thoughts and worry us.
• Circle of Influence: Things we can actually do something about. This is where we need to focus our energy.
• No Concern: Things outside our control or influence that we need to stop giving headspace to. The weather on a particular day or a decision made by someone senior that we cannot influence.

The quicker we learn to distinguish between these three areas, the more proactive our thinking becomes.  It is also good for our mental wellbeing. We stop allowing things to consume and overwhelm us.  One of the first signs that pressure is mounting is often indecision. We keep things in our heads rather than dealing with them.

A practical exercise for you and your team

Get a piece of paper and draw two circles and label them:

• Circle of Concern
• Circle of Influence

Label the space outside both circles No Concern.

Now use Post-it notes to capture all the things currently occupying your thinking.  One concern per Post-it.

Look at each one and ask yourself:

• Can I influence this?
• What action could I take?
• Am I spending energy on something I cannot change?

Move your Post-its into the appropriate circle or outside the circles altogether.

You might be surprised by how many things you can actually do something about – and how many you need to let go.



Remember: Don't let your inbox become a storage facility for your worries. Keep things moving.