Do you believe that people in general are doing the best they can?

From Brené Brown's research 50% of people answer the question "hell no" and then as you guessed it the other half say yes in general people are doing the best they can.

To think about why the question matters think about recent situations where you were left in judgement and how did it serve you?

• Your client doesn't ring you back, and you think they're a time-waster
• Your friend cancels a bike ride, and you're convinced they take you for granted, selfish
• Your sales manager loses an account, and you view them as hopeless

All of the examples above lead to labelling a person and not in a positively.  When we assume everyone is doing the best they can, we become more understanding and better Leaders and humans in life.  Take the examples again:-

• Your client doesn't ring you back, and you think they are covering two accounts  - they are overloaded, I can wait
• Your friend cancels a bike ride, and whilst this has become a regular thing you understand her childcare is complicated it is no reflection on you
• Your sales manager loses an account, and you wonder whether he needs more experience and some upskilling

The second set have possibilities and more rounded thinking rather than a hard judgement. The second set of answers definitely builds the picture of better relationships and will ultimately lead to better decisions.

It is hard to be generous in your thinking and I will admit I found the concept very hard as we are often at the centre of all our stories and we want them interpreted to support us. 

An example recently, I was facilitating a meeting and had not even got past the agenda when a Leader interpreted me and disagreed with what we were covering.  The Agenda had been agreed with other Leaders, at that moment in time I was left exposed and took a direct hit to my confidence.  Did I think at that moment in time the person was doing the best they could, a resounding No!! However the no came from the place of my discomfort, was the Leader keen for other items to be covered, was he off the back of another stressful meeting, was he frustrated with his Leadership team which had no reflection on me.

The stories we are making up are so important to rewrite in our heads.  The Leader did not hate me and did not want to disturb my confidence he wanted the most productive session.

Brené Brown talks about living BIG which stands for Boundaries, Integrity and Generosity. 

"Yes I'm going to be generous in my assumptions and intentions while standing solidly in my integrity and being very clear about what is acceptable and what's not acceptable"  - Brené Brown

If we have not set any boundaries we are not saying to others what is OK.  Integrity as defined by Brené Brown is choosing courage over discomfort.  We may need to feel discomfort in order to be generous to others, by understanding their story and asking them to share what is going on, and not sitting in judgement.

The final  quote sums is up perfectly.

"I know my life is better when I work from the assumption that everyone is doing the best they can.It keeps me out of judgment and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be" - Brené Brown